


Shame

by Nancysarahi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cheating, Dark Harry, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 15:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18813508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nancysarahi/pseuds/Nancysarahi
Summary: It was once so good, so wonderful, but maybe the karma finally caught up. Harry lays in bed throughout the day, occasionally interacting with his mom and dad when he finally gets up to eat. He’s not depressed, not really, at least he doesn’t think so. He knows depression, desperation and emptiness but also so full to the brim with agony and dread. This feels like taking a thousand calming draughts and scrambling to grip the anger and horror.--Harry is so in love with Draco, having known him since childhood. But Harry is hardly stable enough to keep a meaningful relationship and he decides to distract himself with his best friend, Tom. As Harry strings along a besotted Tom, can Harry continue to justify his actions or will he be able to fall in love again?(Rape/non con warning but it will be dubcon)





	Shame

“- sent me an _amazing_ arrangement of chocolates gifted to him by the Minister of -”

“He hadn’t called or written and I wrote to his mother and asked if she had talked to him recently but she just said that he has to focus on his-”

“Guess what!? Apparently, he had a horrid project for his potions class that he had to monitor constantly and he could not get away to call or write!”

“- said he wants to push the wedding to an earlier day, a week after we both grad-”

Harry did not care that Tom’s eyes would glaze when he droned on about his blond but he was honestly surprised when Tom made a strangled sound from the back of his throat this time.

“Er, what?”

“You-you're _marrying_ the ponce?” Tom’s eyes were wide and his hands were clenched into fists.

“Um… duh? What do you think the ring means? That we are best friends forever? Honestly, Tom, you should listen to me,” Harry rolled his jade eyes while he reached for a chocolate scone, his hand adorning his large engagement ring. Tom slapped his hand away and Harry glared at him. “What the hell, Tom?”

“Since when are you two… engaged?” Tom looked as pained as he sounded and Harry fought the urge to snicker at him, not wanting a stinging hex under the table.

“Since my birthday! Lord and Lady Malfoy visited and talked to my parents for hours. They decided that we should marry when I turn 20. Draco and I want to live in France and of course, I will visit you all frequently and-”

Tom zoned out, wondering how in the world Harry could love an idiot, prideful git like the Malfoy heir. He, hatefully, admitted that the loser was attractive, intelligent, charming, and of a powerful pedigree. But Tom also knew that he had all that and more. Draco could buy the world for Harry but Tom would rip the world apart for Harry and didn’t the effort count more?

Hermione quickly sensed the Slytherin Prefect’s souring mood and darkening aura so she intervened and started asking Harry on what his mother was doing to prepare for her upcoming delivery. Harry, happy to speak about his arriving siblings, took the bait.

Their impromptu picnic was supposed to be a reward for them having received O’s on their practice N.E.W.T.s but of course, Harry had to ruin their excursion. Tom sighed and flopped onto his back, the November sky was cloudless but he had his thoughts to distract him. He eventually dozed off, thoughts of Harry and weddings shoved carefully to the back of his mind.

* * *

 

The year seemed to be going all too fast, the trio never leaving the library except for class, food, and sleep. Hermione followed her arduous schedule, Harry rewrote and reread notes, and Tom reread every book assigned and then some. Other students quickly learned to steer clear of the Horrid Triplets, the only one who was approachable was surprisingly Tom. Tom hated pandering to the idiots but he also knew he had to keep up his charm and keep his fan base content, after all, there was only one more year of this torture.

It was the middle of April when Harry broke their comfortable silence. Tom heard rustling from Harry’s corner of the table and a long sigh. Such expressions were common coming from Harry, it wasn’t until Harry whispered a “guys” to them that he looked up.

Harry looked bored with his head held up by his hand while he watched his other hand twirl a quill. Hermione and Tom looked expectantly at Harry, knowing that the Slytherin would eventually speak.

“I’m breaking up with Draco.”

“... okay. When?”

Tom winced as Hermione kicked him under the table, he glared at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh Harry, what happened? What did he do?” Hermione was all sympathy and warmth to Harry while she shot Tom a harsh look. Tom realized he could have been compassionate towards his friend but he was tired.

“Nothing happened, ‘Mione. I’m just bored with him, I don’t think we’re a good match,” Harry sighed and then turned an expectant look to Tom. Tom was confused until he realized that he should say something.

Tom cleared his throat and said, “Well, about time. Focus on your N.E.W.T.s.” Tom turned back to his journals and did not relax until he felt Hermione’s scorching gaze leave his head.

* * *

 

Harry and Hermione lay on the floor of the Room of Requirement, both relaxing a bit that their final N.E.W.T. practice exams for their sixth year are over. The ceiling appearing to be the solar system while calming music played from a corner in the room.

“Hey, Herm, do you think Tom fancies me?”

Hermione rolls on to her side, her brows furrow, and she feels like smacking Harry in the face. “Are you an idiot, Harry? Tom has fancied you since the fourth year and I am honestly not surprised you have barely noticed. Seriously, you’re in the top of our class and you lack observation skills.”

Harry huffs at his Gryffindor friend but considers her words. Not wanting to face her, he stares at the cosmos on the ceiling and nonchalantly remarks, “Perhaps I’ll give him a chance.”

Hermione tenses up and breathes deeply for a few seconds before she lays on her back again. “Harry, please do not hurt Tom. You know how disturbed he is and that you are the person he cares for the most. I will not be saying more about this and if you decide to give him a chance, I hope you do so because you want him, not because you want a rebound.”

Harry considered the bright witch but he wasn’t bored, per se. He just really needed something to do. Tom would be a good option, right? They have been friends since they met in the Hogwarts Express before their first year started. He knew Tom and his darker side, Tom knew that Harry’s mind was a dark place as well, they should suit each other just fine.

* * *

Tom and Harry were both at the Ministry for the summer. Harry is interning in the Department of Mysteries while Tom is assistant to the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic. Harry wondered how Tom handled that toad Umbridge but he had more pressing issues to worry about, like the odd creature in the sealed glass cage.

Consistent experimentation showed that any spell that would maim and kill a human actually pleased the creature. By all appearances, the animal was in heaven, a constant rumbling coming from its relaxed position. The Unspeakables have started calling the creature Vulp, for its red coat and pointed ears. The resemblance to a fox ended there, Vulp extended for two meters and was as tall as any lion. Vulp had white paws, each adorned with talons that would surely rip them apart. Its eyes were slitted, almost snake-like, and its tail was like a lizard's. Currently, he and Unspeakable Smith were observing Vulp, noticing that it was becoming gloomy and no amount of crucios was cheering up the animal that stole their hearts.

As if knowing that the humans were worried, Vulp stood up and walked toward them and sat on its back legs. It stared at them with its silver eyes and seemed to plead for something. Harry shot the deadliest unforgivable at the poor sod and Vulp seemed to brighten up but still, something was amiss. It rubbed its face on the glass, near Harry’s wand and whined. Harry and Smith frowned and decided to leave for the day so they could think of something to cheer up their fox.

Harry decided to take the lift from level nine to level one instead of going home, wanting to see if Tom was done with the day’s work. Harry stood in the elevator and when it opened to allow someone in on level five, he saw a very familiar mane of blond hair. Harry scrambled to get off the lift as he saw Draco walking alongside his father.

Dread and longing clutched at Harry’s heart and the roaring of his blood in his ears made him dizzy. He rapidly walked until he was only a few feet behind the two Parisians. Lucius was the first to notice someone behind them, he turned and surprise rose in his eyes as he noticed Harry’s Unspeakable attire, a robe the color of the night sky with silver stars embroidered on the sleeves. Draco then turned, unaccustomed to seeing his father show emotion around strangers, then froze. Harry and Draco stared at each other until Lucius cleared his throat and excused himself.

“How have-”

“Why are you here?” Harry enquired as he gazed intently at Draco, memorizing his face all over again.

Draco scoffed at Harry and spoke in his usual drawl, “Well, Potty, it seems like your manners are horrid as always. I’ve accompanied my father, seeing as he is the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic of France and I am his apprentice, it seems only right that I came along too. Though I am surprised to see you here and wearing an Unspeakable uniform, perhaps you stole it? Don’t see why they would trust you keeping a secret with your big mouth.” At that, Draco raked his eyes over Harry’s form and Harry fought to keep a straight face.

Harry sneered at his ex and said, “Well, of course, I earned my way into the department, unlikely anybody would say that about you. Of course, you are the ‘apprentice’ to your daddy, nepotism never did faze your lot did it?”

Harry and Draco glared at each other until Harry’s mouth twitched and Draco bit his lip. Soon, they were both laughing and shaking with mirth as they held each other.

Harry straightened his robe while Draco ran a hand through his hair. Harry smiled at Draco, genuinely pleased to see him healthy and well. He smiled wider and asked, “Why is your father here?”

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes, “He wants to meet with your Senior Undersecretary over negotiating a new treatise. Such a boring thing to do but father figures that it will give me experience on how to handle the horrid woman. Apparently, she has also taken on an apprentice and father has heard of the amazing potential of the man.”

Harry’s face drained of color and warily asked, “Do you know who the assistant is?”

Draco blinked at Harry’s reaction. “No, I only know that this is his first time in the Ministry and already he is making a name for himself. Also, he is a half-blood and the Heir of Slytherin. Won’t you walk with me to the Undersecretary’s office?”

Harry was unsure if he should say anything but decided that he would keep his big mouth shut this time. Tom completely loathed Draco while Draco had dismissed Tom like he dismissed many things important to Harry. Harry only nodded his head and followed Draco to the lift, knowing that Tom would be incredibly annoyed by the time the Malfoy’s departed.

There was a comfortable silence surrounding the two, even if they had separated, they had known each other since they were toddlers. They would play with each other while his godfather, Sirius, took care of Harry. Sirius wanting to limit Harry’s exposure to Bellatrix would invite Narcissa and Draco to the Black manor. Harry’s first friend and first love was Draco and his heart felt a void now that they no longer spoke.

By the time Harry was shaken from his musings, he and Draco stood outside the office of the Undersecretary alongside Lucius. Lucius offered Harry a warm smile which Harry returned with a beaming one, having missed the kind Lord.

The door opened and Tom’s eyes met Lucius’, “Thank you for coming today, Lord Malfoy. Unfortunately, Undersecretary Umbridge was summoned for an emergency concerning one of her felines. I can outline the goals we have for the updated treaties that would benefit both of our fine countries. I was told you would be bringing along your apprentice,” Tom momentarily faltered but resumed as he saw Draco standing proudly next to his father, “and of course it is a pleasure to see you again Draco.” Tom’s eyes then flit to Harry’s for a second, showing a hurt that only Harry could decipher. Harry felt his stomach drop. Then Tom’s eyes became steely and he smiled roguishly at Harry, “My heart, you know you don’t have to wait for me, I will go over to Potter manor once I am finished talking with Lord Malfoy and his heir.” Tom then raised his hand and brushed the hair off of Harry’s burning face, letting Harry feel Tom’s magic as it boiled under his skin.

Harry nodded, mumbled a farewell to a shell shocked Draco, then walked as fast as he could to the elevator. He could feel three pairs of eyes burning holes into his back but Tom's magic had felt even worse.

* * *

 

Harry took the floo home and was laying in bed, wearing his favorite pair of muggle sweatpants and a soft cotton shirt. He knew he cared for Tom and that Tom filled his stomach with butterflies, but that all paled in comparison to how Draco made him feel with a single glance.

‘Maybe I am the biggest dick in the world.’

Harry dozed off until he felt a finger prod at his face. Harry groaned and pulled the offending hand until the git fell into the bed. Harry buried his face into Tom’s chest and inhaled, ready to fall asleep once more.

Tom felt warm and unlike he ever had as he watched Harry accept him while half asleep and cuddle into his chest. Maybe he did have no reason to feel insanely jealous and possessive when he saw Harry standing next to the blond moron, even if Harry would never allow for Tom to be so commandeering. He quickly fell asleep to the feel of his lover’s heartbeat against his own.

 

That night, Harry dreamt of dragons with silver eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> "Unfortunately, Undersecretary Umbridge" made me giggle as i wrote it


End file.
